He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
