No awkward lesbian experiences without me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
