I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
