you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
