You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
