just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
