His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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