I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
