Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
