Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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