Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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