You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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