Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Drake has all the answers
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize