I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
