new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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