i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
