I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Everclear isn't food dammit
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
