Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
