Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
