Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
