So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Maybe he injected his testicle?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
