I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
