Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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