i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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