i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
