dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
