my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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