where am i from again
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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