Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
