I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
