Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I forgot wine drunk hurts
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
