I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i need some magic done to my vagina
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
