Three words: puerto rican gang bang
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
