I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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