Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
