i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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