you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am naked and annoyed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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