You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
