i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize