I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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