we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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