Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
