I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
