sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
