So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
