I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
