none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
