his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
