Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can Purell be used as lube?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
