I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize