Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
