Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know her cup size but not her name....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize