You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
