when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
