Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
