I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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