Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
