somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
