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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
