I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
