Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
