you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
