There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
