Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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