I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
