Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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