So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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